15” Of Mini Twinkies

I just realized that I have been posting rather serious stuff on my Blog. I think Blogging need not be a tedious process - neither for the readers nor for the Bloggers. So here is something, which I hope will lighten up your moods and make your trips to my Blog a happy and joyful experience.

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During the war in Iraq, a mixed group of three soldiers belonging to the Allied Forces were ambushed by the Iraqi army. They were herded before the Iraqi Commander who would decide their fate.

The Commander declared; “Let it not be said that the Iraqi army is without compassion and do not respect the Geneva Conventions on P.O.W. I am going to give you a fair chance to escape the inevitable death by firing. I will give you a test and if you pass the test, you will go free but if you fail, you die before my firing squad. Is that acceptable to you?”

The motley of chained and shackled soldiers comprising of an American, a German and a Chinese, huddled together to discuss the matter. They arrived at the consensus that it was sure death for them anyway but there might just be the remote possibility that they might pass the test and escape death. So they agreed that they will go through the test, whatever it was. They chorused; “Yes, we accept the test but what exactly is the test?”

The Commander said; “Good. The test is simple: I will have your mini twinkies measured out and if the sum total of your combined length is exactly 15 inches, you will go scot free. If they are even marginally longer or shorter, it is the firing squad for you. Do you accept?”

The POWs were stumped. They looked at each other in bewilderment but they were aware that they had hardly a choice so they agreed to take the test.

The Commander ordered two Iraqi soldiers to escort the soldiers one by one and have their ding-dongs measured out. The American soldier was the first to be taken behind the barracks and measured out.

The two Iraqi soldiers returned with the American soldier and reported;

“Exactly 5”, Sir!

Next, the German soldier was escorted behind the barracks. A little while later, the Iraqi soldiers returned with a brimming German soldier and declared;

“Commander, Sir, Exactly 7”!

It was now the turn of the Chinese soldier. Minutes later, the two forlorn looking Iraqi soldiers escorted back the Chinese soldier who was grinning from ear to ear, and reported;

“Incredible, Sir, but exactly 3”!

The sum total stood at exactly 15”! The Commander had no choice but to let go the soldiers. They had passed the test and earned their freedom.

As the three soldiers walked away in relief, each of them gloated about their role in the escape from death. The American took great pride in the fact that if it hadn’t been for his bountiful 5”, all three of them would be cold turkey right now and being buried 3’ under the ground.

The German declared; “Yea right! If mine did not measure a hulking 7”, both of you would be dead and not talking so big and boastful”.

The meek Chinese chimed in; “Please guys, let us offer prayers of thanks to God that if I hadn’t had a hard-on, we would all be history”.