Wednesday, April 13, 2011

15” of Mini Twinkies: II

The simple act of narrating a joke can sometimes test your ingenuity to its limit. So it was with me; when I decided to lighten the mood in my blog by posting a joke tiled, ‘15” of Mini Twinkies’. I did not realize what a challenge I was taking on when I decided to tell a joke that involved three multi-national ding-dongs measuring a perfect 15”.
I am not a practicing joker - not even an occasional one. My joke telling days were over close to two decades ago. The thing with jokes is that you have to keep telling them - to be able to tell them with a certain flair and style and ease. Even the funniest jokes can sound dour, if it is not delivered with the right combination of mimicry, wild gesticulations and contortions. Extricating guffaws from your audience is no mean joke. But my difficulties arose not from a lack of skill of writing or command over the language. I was challenged at an altogether different level.
The problem arose because the joke involves three different nationalities. And, if you have read the joke, you would have realized that the entire success of the joke hinges on the soldier who possesses a schlong measuring no more than 3”. That was at the root of my troubles.
While the real truth remains hidden within our crotches, no male of whatever nationality likes to be identified as being one who is poorly hung. This is totally a male thing. Thus, assigning a lingam that measured a miserly 3” to a specific nationality would be seen as insidious and libelous by that nationality! The joke would be in very poor taste.
But for the sake of the joke, someone has to take on that dishonor or the joke wouldn’t be so funny. But who? Who do I say possessed that very critical and life saving but very miniscule 3” ding-a-ling? How can I narrate my cute little joke without hurting sensibilities and provoking ire? How can I do it without leaving a sour after-taste in the mouth, after the laughter?
At the end of two days and two nights of brain-racking and after giving due consideration to history, logic, anatomical analysis, myth and mystery, I elected the Chinese soldier to be the baton bearer and, in doing so, I believe I resolved the delicate dilemma! In fact, I believe that it was a stroke of genius.
NOTE: Beyond being funny, some jokes are brain teasers. My joke ‘15” of Mini Twinkies’ is one such joke. I waited two days for some readers to point out the anomaly built-in into the joke. It seems that none have noticed it. Or, perhaps, you are being kind to me by not pointing out the deliberate flaw in the joke. Whatever the case may be, I encourage you to re-read the joke and, if this time you observe the irregularity in the joke, you will then understand the illogical logic behind this rejoinder.
PS: The correct nomenclature for the Allied Forces I referred to in my joke should be: Multi-National Force - Iraq.


  1. Now now, this says you are going serious again! Come on now, leave a joke as a joke... which by Jove mean, let it hang as it is.

    I wouldn't argue for the hidden test, but I tell you, the thought of the third prisoner pulling through a life-saving talent made me realize how "ding-dongs" can come into good use offense! Ha-ha.

  2. So after all it came down to the "schlong" of our yellow brother which suddenly sang the "swan song", hit the "gong", bid the Iraqis "so long" and they all moved "along!" :) He He!

  3. Did you mean the Iraqi soldiers were gays? Taking the POWs behind the barrack and making them do it on them? 5" and their faces lit up while they wore a dejected face at 3". Not so sure about it.

    Sorry for the late entry. Just read your joke now.

    1. Nowhere does it indicate that the Iraqi soldiers were gay, they had a forlorn look because the total length measured up to 15", meaning the prisoners were to be set free.