Bhutan Parliamentarians on a funny trip

A friend in India just sent me the following news clipping. It is my ardent hope that our Parliamentarians were too thick skinned to have not learned anything from their Indian counterparts :)-

Imagine our patang bearing Parliamentarians turning violent!

This one is funny too!

Funny Signage

What do you understand by the following signboard put up at the entrance of Lamperi Cafe?

For those of you who are photographers, tell me - what is the flaw in this photo, taken with my iPhone. I wont make this mistake if I was using a proper camera ... but shooting with a mobile phone is rather cumbersome.

The Gleeful KUENSEL

KUENSEL’s Editorial of the 7th April, 2015:

For a bigger and safer airport

"It was quite a spectacle for the thousands of people, who visited Paro over the weekend. The Paro tshechu, the Royal flower exhibition and, to the surprise of many, all the seven aircraft operated by the two Bhutanese airlines were on the ground at the same time.

It was a beautiful sight, as hundreds waited, stranded in a terrible traffic jam on the single lane road that runs beside the airport."

Sadists!!

Funny Signages

One of the catchiest business names I have ever come across happens to be the one at Thimphu’s Hong Kong Market area. The business is named: HER ASSET BROKER & REAL ESTATE. Whichever way I look at it, I am convinced that there is nothing straightforward about what is on offer. But I dare say that, as dubious as it may sound, the owner of the business must be pretty sure that he has something worthy to offer. Without that conviction, he cannot be so bold as to declare his firm as a brokerage for her asset.

To be fair, the Chinese are even more creative in naming their businesses. See the following for proof.

But the Japanese take the cake – when it comes to being cryptic. One notice in a Japanese hotel room reads as follows:

“This room has hot air and also cold air. If you feel hot, cool yourself"

Funny Signboards

-->I just returned from a trip to the Eastern Dzongkhags (Districts) covering Mongar, Trashiyangtse, Trashigang and Pemagatshel. It was not fun because it rained every day and night. Most nights, my companions had to sleep in the car because their tents got flooded with rainwater and sleep wasn’t possible. My own tent wasn’t spared either - most nights there was a small rivulet flowing beneath my tent floor. Fortunately, I have a very good tent - Cabela’s Outfitter Series^TM Extreme Weather Tent - that can withstand anything that the elements can throw at it. Also, I sleep on a raised camp cot which means that there is no danger of rain water seeping into my sleeping bag while I sleep. I always wake up bone dry in the morning :)

Cabela’s Outfitter Series^TM - Extreme Weather Tent

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But the trip wasn’t entirely without its moments of hilarity. The stretch of road between Trashigang and Pemagatshel is strewn with road signs that provide the weary travelers a good bite of laughter and amusement. The DANTAK (the organization responsible for building roads in Bhutan) has put up road signs along the way that are quite humorous, if a tad dour. The following are some example of the DANTAK’s ingenuity at lively road signs:

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Not to be out done, a shop owner in Khaling town comes up with a shop sign that has got to be a first of its kind. However, for the life of me I could not decide whether he did not know the Dzongkha equivalent of “General” or he couldn’t think of the English word for “Tshongkhang” and therefore decided on the amalgamation. Regardless of how strangely it is constructed, there is a nice ring about it, a kind of seamlessness in its integration: General Tshongkhang - not bad at all. By the way, what is the Dzongkha word for “General”?

 

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But the following signboard at Yadi School did not amuse me at all. I mean an institution of education and learning cannot do any better? Forget the English, I suspect that even the Dzongkha version is written all wrong. Small wonder then that there is so much talk about dropping education standard in the country.

Pardon Me, Your Slip Is Showing

I had never before visited the Bhutan Power Corporation’s payment counter for payment of my bills - someone had always done it on my behalf. Today, as I had time in hand, waiting for a friend to reach his office in Kawajangsa, I decided that I will visit the BPC’s Payment Counter above the UNDP office so that I can pay my bills that have been outstanding for a long time.

Each of their glass panes carried a notice each. But the following three caught my eyes:

REMINDER TO ALL THE

VALUED CUSTOMER

Please take note that date 29^th is the last due date for the water bill payment for every month. If date 29^th falls on government holidays or on a Saturday we are not responsible for that. After that we will remain closed for few days.

CITY CORPORATION

THIMPHU

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In the event of your cheque being DISHONORED Nu.1000/- per cheque will be debited to your account as company charges.

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CASH COUNTER TIMING TILL OUR IS-SAP

SYSTEM FULLY FUNCTION.

WEEKDAYS

9.00 AM – 1.00 PM

1.00 PM -1.30 PM LUNCH BREAK

1.30 AM – 4.00PM

SATURDAY

9.00 AM – 12.00

BPC COUNTER AT TELECOM WILL REMAIN CLOSED ON SATURDAY FOR ANY TRANSATION PLS COME TO BPC OFFICE. (EVERY TIME)

15” of Mini Twinkies: II

The simple act of narrating a joke can sometimes test your ingenuity to its limit. So it was with me; when I decided to lighten the mood in my blog by posting a joke tiled, ‘15” of Mini Twinkies’. I did not realize what a challenge I was taking on when I decided to tell a joke that involved three multi-national ding-dongs measuring a perfect 15”.

I am not a practicing joker - not even an occasional one. My joke telling days were over close to two decades ago. The thing with jokes is that you have to keep telling them - to be able to tell them with a certain flair and style and ease. Even the funniest jokes can sound dour, if it is not delivered with the right combination of mimicry, wild gesticulations and contortions. Extricating guffaws from your audience is no mean joke. But my difficulties arose not from a lack of skill of writing or command over the language. I was challenged at an altogether different level.

The problem arose because the joke involves three different nationalities. And, if you have read the joke, you would have realized that the entire success of the joke hinges on the soldier who possesses a schlong measuring no more than 3”. That was at the root of my troubles.

While the real truth remains hidden within our crotches, no male of whatever nationality likes to be identified as being one who is poorly hung. This is totally a male thing. Thus, assigning a lingam that measured a miserly 3” to a specific nationality would be seen as insidious and libelous by that nationality! The joke would be in very poor taste.

But for the sake of the joke, someone has to take on that dishonor or the joke wouldn’t be so funny. But who? Who do I say possessed that very critical and life saving but very miniscule 3” ding-a-ling? How can I narrate my cute little joke without hurting sensibilities and provoking ire? How can I do it without leaving a sour after-taste in the mouth, after the laughter?

At the end of two days and two nights of brain-racking and after giving due consideration to history, logic, anatomical analysis, myth and mystery, I elected the Chinese soldier to be the baton bearer and, in doing so, I believe I resolved the delicate dilemma! In fact, I believe that it was a stroke of genius.

NOTE: Beyond being funny, some jokes are brain teasers. My joke ‘15” of Mini Twinkies’ is one such joke. I waited two days for some readers to point out the anomaly built-in into the joke. It seems that none have noticed it. Or, perhaps, you are being kind to me by not pointing out the deliberate flaw in the joke. Whatever the case may be, I encourage you to re-read the joke and, if this time you observe the irregularity in the joke, you will then understand the illogical logic behind this rejoinder.

PS: The correct nomenclature for the Allied Forces I referred to in my joke should be: Multi-National Force - Iraq.

15” Of Mini Twinkies

I just realized that I have been posting rather serious stuff on my Blog. I think Blogging need not be a tedious process - neither for the readers nor for the Bloggers. So here is something, which I hope will lighten up your moods and make your trips to my Blog a happy and joyful experience.

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During the war in Iraq, a mixed group of three soldiers belonging to the Allied Forces were ambushed by the Iraqi army. They were herded before the Iraqi Commander who would decide their fate.

The Commander declared; “Let it not be said that the Iraqi army is without compassion and do not respect the Geneva Conventions on P.O.W. I am going to give you a fair chance to escape the inevitable death by firing. I will give you a test and if you pass the test, you will go free but if you fail, you die before my firing squad. Is that acceptable to you?”

The motley of chained and shackled soldiers comprising of an American, a German and a Chinese, huddled together to discuss the matter. They arrived at the consensus that it was sure death for them anyway but there might just be the remote possibility that they might pass the test and escape death. So they agreed that they will go through the test, whatever it was. They chorused; “Yes, we accept the test but what exactly is the test?”

The Commander said; “Good. The test is simple: I will have your mini twinkies measured out and if the sum total of your combined length is exactly 15 inches, you will go scot free. If they are even marginally longer or shorter, it is the firing squad for you. Do you accept?”

The POWs were stumped. They looked at each other in bewilderment but they were aware that they had hardly a choice so they agreed to take the test.

The Commander ordered two Iraqi soldiers to escort the soldiers one by one and have their ding-dongs measured out. The American soldier was the first to be taken behind the barracks and measured out.

The two Iraqi soldiers returned with the American soldier and reported;

“Exactly 5”, Sir!

Next, the German soldier was escorted behind the barracks. A little while later, the Iraqi soldiers returned with a brimming German soldier and declared;

“Commander, Sir, Exactly 7”!

It was now the turn of the Chinese soldier. Minutes later, the two forlorn looking Iraqi soldiers escorted back the Chinese soldier who was grinning from ear to ear, and reported;

“Incredible, Sir, but exactly 3”!

The sum total stood at exactly 15”! The Commander had no choice but to let go the soldiers. They had passed the test and earned their freedom.

As the three soldiers walked away in relief, each of them gloated about their role in the escape from death. The American took great pride in the fact that if it hadn’t been for his bountiful 5”, all three of them would be cold turkey right now and being buried 3’ under the ground.

The German declared; “Yea right! If mine did not measure a hulking 7”, both of you would be dead and not talking so big and boastful”.

The meek Chinese chimed in; “Please guys, let us offer prayers of thanks to God that if I hadn’t had a hard-on, we would all be history”.